Memories flood back

Today I saw my niece she is only 4 weeks old and as I sat holding her alot of memories and feelings flooded back,
She lay sleeping with her mouth open and I remembered winter always slept like that I also remember this being mentioned at her final goodbye.

I was filled with a mix of emotions, proud of my beautiful little nice in my arms and at the same time sad that my arms have been empty for 14 months now, aching for the fact I know I won't get my chance to hold my own baby in my arms again due to problems I have, followed by questions in my head about whether I am really ok with this fact, it seems so unfair that a women's last chance to be a mother should be cut so short.

I looked at little Olivia and beamed with happiness at the fact she will always be watched over by winter.