An emptiness that will never be filled

For 6 years I longed to get pregnant and month after month it was a crushing disappointment before a realisation that it was never going to happen, just as I gave up hope Winter came along to show me you should never give up. When I found out I was pregnant I couldn't believe it at first and that was followed by an insane amount of joy, excitement and pure happiness, when Winnie was born and I held her in my arms I felt so full of happiness I could burst. Then it happened the awful day we lost our caterpillar my heart broke and I have never felt emptiness quite like it, the pain is immense and trying to explain it to someone who has never felt it is an impossible task. The emptiness feels like someone has smashed their hand into your chest and pull a massive chunk of your heart away with them, nothing can repaired this damage, fill the empty gap in my chest. My life is going ok at the moment but despite being happy I still have this feeling of emptiness and I have now resided myself to the fact it will never go away, will never be filled, it's a space that waits for us to reunite.