Today I woke with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, of really missing you so deep it physically hurts beyond being able to explain in words to people how it feels, I don't want to be alone but at the same time I don't feel like I want to be around people, it's confusing.
I'm annoyed at myself for the fact I have 2 others daughters one of which has already sent me a Mother's Day message yet I'm consumed with the hurt and upset for the daughter no longer here, ifs the deepest sadness I have felt and when days like this hit you honestly feel you will feel this sad forever.
I'm angry at the world at mothers that abuse or neglect their children, why do they have theirs when my little girl had to leave, life is unfair and it sometimes make me sit and think I always try to be a good person but what's the point because day in day out I see others acting like a*rseholes carrying on without regard for anyone else, only thinking of themselves and they have what they want, these people will always get their way so why don't I just stop being a good person, why don't I forget about others feelings and maybe then I'll always get what I want instead.
What hurts most is that I know in a weeks time I will say again in this amount of pain on winters birthday and it feels like it never ends.
Hold on to the memories but don't lose yourself in them :) hugs your way
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