I woke this morning with an overwhelming sense of what was missing or should I say who was missing, over the last few days I have thought of winter more and more and then when I got up today I felt over come with emotion and heartache, I've taken to calling these days grief attacks, it seems like a fitting name as I can go long periods of time feeling perfectly fine and then all of a sudden it hits me again, it doesn't seem to pass until I go to bed when it happens so the trick is to try and keep myself busy, today I put a coat of paint on the kitchen, hung a couple of Christmas decs and tried to distract myself with some tv, it's now early evening and although I still don't feel great I Ann thinking to myself "I made it through again" it must be hard for people who haven't been through it to understand but it's like you keep all your thoughts and emotions in a container and every now and then that container starts to overflow and as it does so your hit with an immense sadness and feeling of loneliness, I think the feeing lonely is due to the fact that you know yourself others don't understand.
Well tomorrow will be a new day yet again and although nothing will have changed I will most likely wake feeling fine again, here's hoping.
All my love to my beautiful little angel baby xxxx
